Unresolved trauma from our childhood affects every part of our lives, but the only way to be free from the pain of the past is to face it. When we acknowledge that we’ve been hurt, we can heal ourselves from within by starting with a few, small, brave steps.
We warn you that today’s show may be disturbing for some listeners.
Longtime Dad Edge Alliance member, Kevin Gilroy, is the author of The Kid Upstairs, his story about overcoming trauma and sexual abuse. Kevin went through most of his life avoiding the darkness, numbing the unease in destructive ways. Now he is a new man, and courageously tells us how he finally confronted his childhood and carved his own path from trauma to transformation.
The Kid Upstairs by Kevin Gilroy
Becoming a father 3 years ago was the greatest accomplishment of my life. I was full of hope, happiness and gratitude that I was able to raise my daughter alongside my wife. This was the dream: to start a family.
It was soon after that the anxiety and depression hit — 27 years worth. Up until that point, I had pushed away dealing with my past: the loss of two brothers, sexual abuse before the age of 12 and coming to grips with my decisions thereafter.
I let these events dictate what happened next in life and it was time to face the music again. I had the choice to either face them head on or continue to live in my own shadows. I decided to finally face them, which is why this book exists.
The Kid Upstairs is my journey to re-write the narrative of the past from a negative to a positive. This is my own conscious reparenting to see the story from all angles, understand my part in it and then releasing the emotions attached to it. These chapters are my therapy sessions.
The book is not intended to be a self-help instruction manual for others to follow. Rather, it is a story of someone who felt like there were no answers left and — with the support of a few key people — was able to turn the table and step into a better future.
My goal in sharing this raw journal is to inspire other men to dig deep into their pasts and release the emotions tied to their own life-shaping events. Maybe there is healing to be found in writing a book, talking to a friend, seeing a therapist, all of the above or none of the above, but however you choose to acknowledge your story, you are not alone. Better days are possible. Here’s how I came to realize mine.
What You’ll Learn
- The ways in which Kevin’s trauma projected onto his normal life
- Kevin didn’t know that what he experienced was sexual abuse until he was an adult.
- How his abuser normalized what he did to Kevin
- Kevin numbed and isolated himself from a young age without really knowing why he was so angry
- Kevin was one of 8 kids and his parents were unaware of his issues.
- How Kevin took his healing into his own hands
- The specific steps he took to address and recover from his trauma
- What Keven’s life is like now as a husband and the father of two
- How he forgave his abuser
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