Our relationship with our fathers determines how we will be as fathers. But we have a choice. We can either repeat the cycle or use it as a lesson on how not to parent.
Forgiveness seems impossible when it comes to someone who hurt us so badly during the time that we needed them most, but it is the only way to not let the anger rule us as parents. Today we talk about making peace with a toxic father.
Justin Chester’s father was absent most of the time. When his dad was home, he was cold and mean. He’d lock Justin outside during rainstorms and pin him to the wall for not knowing how to tie his shoes.
Now Justin has been married for 3 years and is the father of two sons, a one-year-old and a newborn. He knew that holding onto the resentment and trauma was holding him back in life. In a heroic act of forgiveness, he reached out and confronted his dad to bury the pain. His toxic father cannot take back the past, but Justin is no longer letting it poison his future.
“Stay out of your head. Be okay with the unexpected. Don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone, and enjoy life where you’re at.”
What You’ll Learn
- Operate within the man that you are.
- When it comes to a toxic father, what could be instead of what was done to me?
- Children are supposed to need their fathers, but sometimes the roles reverse and the parent needs the relationship with the child more than the child does.
- Holding onto anger doesn’t benefit either of person or their situation in life.
- Justin didn’t seek agreement from his toxic father. He decided to move past it for himself.
- How to defeat the victim mentality.
- Stop getting stuck in thoughts about how angry you are. Stop buying into your obsession. Move past and get to a better place so it is no longer holding you back in life.
- Getting back to having real, naturally flowing conversations with your spouse.
- Working towards what you want together instead of what you alone want.
- How to be excited about the adventure of marriage and fatherhood
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