Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the expectations placed on you as a husband? Are you confused about what exactly your wife needs from you? Is your marriage in a rut but you don’t know the first step to getting out?
Today’s guest is Quentin Hafner, author of Black Belt Husband: A Marriage Book for Men. He’s a couples counselor by day and a Brazilian jujitsu practitioner by night. Quentin has developed a methodology to becoming a great husband inspired by the martial arts belt system.
There is no need to feel hopeless when your marriage hits a wall, even if the sex has all but disappeared and you and your spouse at moments hate each other. Quentin Hafner breaks it all down for us in this episode!
[bctt tweet=”‘What’s different about a relationship today is that women have an expectation that men can fulfill them emotionally…’—Quentin Hafner, Black Belt Husband #marriage #men #manhood #relationships” username=”gooddadprojct”]
What You’ll Learn
- Why did Quentin Hafner decided to write Black Belt Husband
- Why most guys aren’t interested in mainstream relationship books
- How your actions are a choice, your feelings are not a choice
- How marital bliss will naturally subside in between 6 and 24 months
- How to stop judging your own feelings
- How having uncomfortable feelings about your marriage is common
- How everybody has the feeling of hating their spouse at some time
- How negative feelings doesn’t mean your marriage is broken, only that a problem needs to be addressed
- Quentin’s mission to normalize these feelings so men don’t panic
- How not to react to your feelings, but instead correct your course
- The two main things that silently destroy a marriage
- Apathy – being too casual, leaving the relationship on cruise control. Marriages are like a living organism that needs nurturing and tending to.
- Understanding the importance of offering your wife an emotional connection – Marriages from 2018 are hugely different from 1975. Women have an expectation of emotional fulfilment. Being a provider is not enough and most guys struggle with how to do that.
- How to understand your own needs as a man
- How to communicate those needs to your wife
- Why listening to your wife is only half the equation
- To offer the full emotional connection requires you to share
- Women are desperate for men to share, to find out about the person they are with
- A man’s options in an argument
- Why shutting down emotionally is like drinking your own poison
- How taking risks and being honest about your feelings is like magic to your marriage
- How being “the rock” for your spouse is the biggest myth
- The similarities between the journey through marriage and jujitsu
- Quentin’s belt system for becoming a great husband
- White belt – being coachable and open minded
- Blue belt – building self-confidence and internal strength
- Purple belt – becoming well-rounded
- Brown belt – being a great leader in marriage
- Black belt – mastery
- How sex for women is a completely emotional experience and they need to feel extremely secure and attached to have a healthy libido
- Advice to men in a sexless marriage
- Why you shouldn’t hesitate to get professional help
[bctt tweet=”‘Your job as a husband is not to become a mini-therapist to your wife.’—Quentin Hafner, Black Belt Husband #marriage #husbands #men #fathers #manhood #communication ” username=”gooddadprojct”]
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