“The R.I.C.H. Man Experience & How to Connect with Your Spouse” Episode Overview
Larry Hagner and Shawn Stevenson interview Armando Cruz about the R.I.C.H. (Respect, Inspired, Connected, Happy) Man Experience. Armando has developed a program to take dads to a new level and how to connect with your spouse or partner.
- Learn about the R.I.C.H. (Respect, Inspired, Connected, Happy) Man Experience
- How to balance your work life and family life
- How to recognize the love language of your partner and speak hers/his vs. our own
Guest: Armando Cruz
Armando Cruz is a husband, father, entrepreneur, adventurer, lifestyle physical therapist, ultra-runner, and performance coach. He is the owner of Cruz Country Fitness & Physical Therapy and the creator of the R.I.C.H. Man Experience.
Armando has climbed mountains, has ran over 50 miles in a day in the swamps, has lived out of his car, and has rollerbladed and surfed in hurricanes but his biggest adventure has been fatherhood. He is the proud dad of 3 amazing children and has been married for 8 years to his beautiful wife Christian.
After coaching and working with many different clients, Armando realized his passion and unique capabilities were to help fathers that are entrepreneurs live happier, more connected, and more fulfilled lives. Thus, he created the R.I.C.H. Man Experience: an immersive coaching program for fathers that are entrepreneurs to improve connection to their life purpose, their health, their wife, their kids, and their adventure. The aim is so that they show up daily as the greatest and grandest version of who they are for themselves, for their family and for their legacy.
Be the Greatest Version of You: R.I.C.H. Man Experience
Armando created the R.I.C.H. Man Experience as way to use a compass on a day-to-day basis to check himself and help become the greatest version of himself.
R – Respected:
- What you’re saying and what you’re doing are all in alignment
I – Inspired: If you think back, when you were inspired, there was no need to motivate yourself. in fact, there may have been people trying to stop you.
“Very often if you need motivation to do something, it’s not really something that you want to do. Motivation is an external application towards you versus inspiration, which means quite literally to be filled with the spirit, coming from the inside out. And whenever you’re coming from the inside out, in inspiration, you’re more in alignment with your truth, with your passion, and you’re going to be more authentic.” – Armando Cruz
C – Connected:
- Thing that unites us as spouses/partners and unites us with our kids in our relationships
- Health — nutrition, exercise, mindset, spirituality, how you’re going into it, attitude, sleep, water/hydration; not just fitness, which is one dimensional
“If you don’t have your health and are not in the best shape, then you’ll be a fraction of what you could be because you don’t have the vitality, you don’t have that connection to your best self, and don’t have the clarity to become it. Being connected is being aligned with the people and things that matter most to you.” – Armando Cruz
H – Happy: Culmination of all three — Respected, Inspired, and Connected — when they’re in alignment, you’ll find yourself being more fulfilled and happy. But also, showing up: If you show up being happy, you’ll find something to be happy for and about — fake it until you make it.
Balancing Marriage, Fatherhood, Work
Armando says that “having it all” really means making the best choices. You really can’t have it all because when you choose something, it negates the rest. You can’t be one and the other. What you’re looking for is really what is going to serve you the best.
The balance is kind of a myth, according to Armando. Balance means that there’s not movement. When something is in balance, it’s in zero: It’s neither going forward nor backwards; it’s just there. For example, a pond that just sits there starts building up algae and bacteria, and it starts eating away at itself instead of growing.
Instead, what you’re looking for is movement, says Armando. In order for there to be movement, there are areas of imbalance. Imbalance is not a bad thing; it’s creating movement. The question is: Are you moving in the direction that you want? In the marriage or relationship with your partner and relationship with your kids, are you moving towards a healthier, more fulfilling, more connected relationships — and what does that mean to you? You need to define what it is that is healthy, fulfilling, and connected. By defining it, you can be more concrete. Make sure everyone is speaking the same language.
Shawn suggests replacing the word “balance” with “integration.” Movement creates progress, and progress is power. It boils down to clarity, getting clear on what it is you want versus what you think everybody is supposed to have or what you think you’re supposed to have. It’s important to take a step back, and write down 5-10 things that you really want yourself and not base it on consumerism. Once you can get clearer about what you want, you can find a much clearer path to get there.
Knowing When Coaching is Necessary
Armando often is asked what he does as a coach. Coaches don’t give answers. Instead, coaches ask people the right, best possible questions so that their clients can find the answers for themselves. Asking the right questions is the best, most powerful way of gaining clarity. Clarity gives you freedom because you can see and know what you want.
One process coaches use is a 3 step method for asking questions to get clarity:
1. Define: What does it look like? (ex. What does success in your marriage look like?) Create a vision for that.
2. Refine: What does it not look like? Sometimes there is difficulty in creating the vision of what it looks like, so asking what it doesn’t look like helps.
3. Align: How will I know when I’m not at the best? When I’m not showing up as the best version at that point (ex. in my marriage) — or, when I’m not there? How will I know when I am there? While those questions may all seem very similar, by giving you that contrast, you’re giving different perspectives. Perspectives give you a richer view of any situation.
There’s a difference between coaching and mentoring, and there are different types of coaching and mentoring. Armando explains that mentoring can be described as: “Do what I do. This worked for me, so this is a path that seems to be good.” Coaching, on the other hand, is a little bit different and it’s a luxury: Coaching is not something that you need in order to survive. We can figure our lives out without it, historically speaking. And for some people, good enough is good enough. When coaching becomes powerful and somewhat of a necessity is for men and women committed to excellence. If excellence is a must for you, if excellence and legacy are things that you strive for, then coaching is important because coaching provides perspective. Coaching comes from a place of gathering clarity not necessarily giving instruction.
“You can’t see the picture when you’re in the frame.” – Les Brown
Speaking the Same Love Language
A highly recommended book to read for both men and women is The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, which was featured by Oprah on her shows. In a nutshell, the 5 Love Languages are: quality time; words of affirmation; physical touch; receiving gifts; and acts of service.
It’s critical to know how you and your partner, your kids, and others around you communicate. It’s important to get on the same page and understand one another since people communicate differently, especially when it comes to expressing love. Partners need to get together to talk about their top 2 love languages, and then implement some strategies to have the best communication with each other using both love languages. You need to have specific intent and have these conversations.
Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE
Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE
Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS
- Amazon Bestselling Book: The Dad’s Edge – 9 Simple Ways to Have: Unlimited Patience, Improved Relationships, and Positive Lasting Memories
- Larry’s New Course: The Dad’s Edge – 6 Strategies to Achieve: Unlimited Patience, Improved Relationships, and Positive Lasting Memories
- Larry’s Twitter Page
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- Shawn’s Website
- Shawn’s Twitter Page
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Links Mentioned In This Episode
Books Mentioned In This Episode
- The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason
- The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman
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