Everything Men Need to Know About Porn with J.K. Emezi

Today our show is about porn, sex, and masturbation addiction. This subject constantly comes up in The Dad Edge community and our episodes about pornography have massive downloads. In this age where we can watch it anytime and anywhere on our phone, it is becoming a huge problem. This crucial, controversial topic is not discussed enough because of the taboo, but porn addiction is real and we need answers.

J.K. Emezi is a sex and porn addiction coach for the last 9 years and is the founder of Elevated Recovery, where he helps men overcome sexually compulsive disorders. He tells us everything men need to know about porn—how it changes our brains, affects our relationships, and alters our perspectives. He gets real about how to tell if porn is a problem and what to do about it. He also tells us how we can prepare our kids for their inevitable encounter with porn, which is happening at startlingly earlier ages.

Pornography changes your values as a man.—J.K. Emezi

The Porn Addiction Problem

When it comes to internet porn, we have no idea what we’re up against. In the olden days, porn was hard to get. It was in the magazine rack behind the counter or the back room of a video store. Now it is available at anytime of day, in any place, at the tip of our fingers. J.K. Emezi says the most common place men watch pornography is at work.

The most disturbing thing about internet porn is that our kids are being exposed to it before they understand what they are looking at. In decades past, kids may not have run into porn until their teens, but in 2016, 11 was the average age of a child’s first exposure. Now, the age is 8.

J.K. Emezi had his own struggle with pornography and discovered that many of the men he worked with did too. Forums were filled with men who were seeking help, but there weren’t any resources. J.K. first began blogging anonymously about recovering from his porn addiction, but he eventually came out into the open to help others end their out-of-control behavior with porn, sex and masturbation.

What You’ll Learn

• J.K. Emezi’s background as a bible salesman
• Where and when the porn problem begins
• How parents are getting too lax with computers and devices
• How there is actually Minecraft porn now
• Why one talk with your kids about porn is not enough. It must be randomly brought up from time to time.
• Why porn is just as bad as drugs or alcohol
• When porn is okay
• Why men watch porn, especially at work
• The role of brain chemicals in porn addiction
• How to rewire your brain for monogamy
• How to reconnect and become aroused again by your partner
• How porn addiction, little by little, destroys your values
• Why some women view porn as cheating and suffer ‘betrayal trauma’
• How to define a compulsive sexual behavior
• If, when, and how to disclose a porn problem to your spouse
• Why masturbation is normal, but porn is not
• What can men do when their wife is pregnant or has just given birth and can’t have sex
• Why watching unrealistic bodies is unfair to your wife
• How to use a rubber band to snap out of physical urges
• How to anchor yourself in the morning to stick to your recovery goals
• How to clean up your online environment to avoid triggers
• How to interrupt porn urges by journaling and visualization
• Advice for men in sexless marriages