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Owning Your Past to Change your Future with Dr. John Delony

This show is full of mindset gold. When it comes to self-sabotage thoughts, when things aren’t going right, this is the show for you. My guest on this episode is Dr. John Delony and he comes on with so much energy. We talk about shame and what it does to our mentality.

Dr. John Delony is a mental health expert with two PhDs in counselor education and supervision, and higher education administration from Texas Tech University. Before joining Ramsey Solutions in 2020, John worked as a senior leader, professor and researcher at multiple universities. He also spent two decades in crisis response, walking with people through severe trauma. Now as a Ramsey Personality, he teaches on relationships, mental health and wellness.

What You’ll Learn

7:06 Interview Begins

8:49 Growing Up

John grew up with his mother and father, but the twist to his childhood is that his father was a homicide detective and made things a bit difficult. His father, because of everything he saw, had a skewed vision of life around his family. His mother, went on to become a college professor, after growing up in an environment that told her NOT to grow professionally. 

9:23 Growing up with a hostage negotiator

John Delony talks about what it was like to grow up with a hostage negotiator as a father. He basically became really darn good at lying. 

15:37 A child’s core needs

John talks about how a child learns and knows they are loved. He explains that, holding your kids and touching them reinforces LOVE in them. 

18:24 A Stoic story

Larry talks about how he thought his son Mason did not like physical touch so much, as he things he is very stoic of a person. One day Mason pretty much just said to him, I’d like more hugs, and something shifted in Larry, where he now doesn’t assume things, but specifically will ask his children about their needs.

27:09 Roles in Marriage

Dr. John Delony talks about the roles and marriage and how to break down the barriers on these. We typically learn our roles from what we see, as we grow up. This is something we must question and see if that aligns with who we are so that it doesn’t hurt us. We must also communicate it properly with our partners so that we grow and understand what our needs are as a couple and not just take what society or our families have determined what our roles are in our marriages

31:52 Own Your Past

John Delony talks about why it is so difficult for just human beings in general to own their past or even taking that a step deeper, forgiving themselves for some of the missteps and some of the things that they’ve said or done, or, you know, decisions they’ve made.

John Delony’s Links


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