The success of our marriage depends on several different factors, but most importantly, we simply need to come to terms with the fact that we can’t just wing the most important relationship of our life. We have to be intentional about learning skills like connection, communication, and creating a deep level of intimacy.
Unfortunately, we don’t learn these things growing up and our relationships truly suffer for it. Today, my guest gets raw and real on how his marriage suddenly came to an end, the clues that he saw in hindsight and what he could have done to save his marriage.
Matthew Fray is a relationship coach, blogger, and author of This is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships.
His marriage ended in 2013. It involved a lot of sobbing, self-loathing, and feeling sorry for myself. A drunken phone call with a phone-a-therapist prompted him to “journal his feelings,” only instead of writing in a private journal like an adult, he drank more alcohol and published it to the internet.
He found new life and purpose blogging about the end of my marriage, discussing relationships with others, and self-reflecting on how his own beliefs and actions contributed to his family’s demise. A bunch of people said it looked, sounded, and felt just like their marriage, and they all had a holy shit moment together, realizing collectively that their relationship conflict and trust-erosion patterns are all pretty much the same.
That journey blossomed into a new career as a relationship coach, and then, an opportunity to write a book. He’s the divorced guy who got a tiny bit famous for leaving dishes by the sink. But it turns out it was never really about the dishes.
What You’ll Learn
6:50 This is How Your Marriage Ends
Matt Fray explains the meaning behind his book and the cover. Larry talks about his book and why covers are important.
9:25 Macro Problem in Relationships
Matt Fray talks about what the macro problem is when it comes to relaationships is that it is often affiliated with women in general.
12:00 They are all so different
Larry Hagner talks about sports and his kids, providing some advice to Matt Fray. It’s all about letting kids doing their thing. Kids will pick up on different activities, sports, music, etc.
17:20 Matt’s Story
Matt talks about the story behind his divorce and how regardless of your background, we all share many reasons behind divorces. We also share a lot of similarities behind starting a relationship. It’s the little things that really chip away to the integrity of relationships.
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