Communication Mastery for Fathers with Chris Voss
Get ready to be trained to communicate and negotiate by the most qualified man in the country.
Chris Voss is the former Chief Negotiating Officer of the FBI, the CEO & Founder of the Black Swan Group, and the author of Never Split The Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It.
Chris is back on the show to tell us some surprising things about communication based on decades of experience, modern psychology, and neuroscience. He explains why we want to get people to say “no” instead of “yes” and teaches us advanced techniques for developing tactical empathy. Chris also reveals the skill set we need for communication mastery as fathers, arming us with the tools we need to be effective leaders in our households and communities.
“When you negotiate properly, you allow the other side to have your way.”—Chris Voss
Chris Voss
Chris Voss is CEO of the Black Swan Group and author of the national best-seller “Never Split The Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It,” which was named one of the seven best books on negotiation. A 24-year veteran of the FBI, Chris retired as the lead international kidnapping negotiator. Drawing on his experience in high-stakes negotiations, his company specializes in solving business communication problems using hostage negotiation solutions. Their negotiation methodology focuses on discovering the “Black Swans,” small pieces of information that have a huge effect on an outcome. Chris and his team have helped companies secure and close better deals, save money, and solve internal communication problems.
Chris has been featured in TIME, Business Insider, Entrepreneur, Inc., Fast Company,
Fortune, The Washington Post, SUCCESS Magazine, Squawk Box, CNN, ABC News and
more.
Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
A former international hostage negotiator for the FBI offers a new, field-tested approach to high-stakes negotiations—whether in the boardroom or at home.
After a stint policing the rough streets of Kansas City, Missouri, Chris Voss joined the FBI, where his career as a hostage negotiator brought him face-to-face with a range of criminals, including bank robbers and terrorists. Reaching the pinnacle of his profession, he became the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator. Never Split the Difference takes you inside the world of high-stakes negotiations and into Voss’s head, revealing the skills that helped him and his colleagues succeed where it mattered most: saving lives. In this practical guide, he shares the nine effective principles—counterintuitive tactics and strategies—you too can use to become more persuasive in both your professional and personal life.
Life is a series of negotiations you should be prepared for: buying a car, negotiating a salary, buying a home, renegotiating rent, deliberating with your partner. Taking emotional intelligence and intuition to the next level, Never Split the Difference gives you the competitive edge in any discussion.
What You’ll Learn
- Why you always want to get a person to say ‘no’ first.
- The fallacy of micro-agreements
- Why people feel like they’ve been taken hostage when you convince them to say “yes”
- People feel safe, protected, in control, and ready to move forward when they are given space to say “no.”
- Without action, agreement is useless.
- The 3 Yeses: Commitment, confirmation, and counterfeit
- What is tactical empathy
- Why tactical empathy is a self-reinforcing skill
- Why empathy is neither sympathy nor agreement
- Moving from denial to observation when listening to another’s side
- You get rid of the elephant in the room by admitting it’s there.
- Over-demonizing a problem will diminish it.
- Calling out negatives is an effective way to communicate with people.
- Genuine curiosity is a highly positive state of mind.
- The “flow state” and other positive states of mind make you smarter.
- Gamifying allows you to detach from stressful situations and helps you to perform better.
- How to use your tone of voice
- No matter how a discussion ends, people appreciate integrity.
- The difference between someone telling you “you’re right” and “that’s right”
- How someone uses the phrase “you’re right” to create distance
- How getting someone to say “that’s right” triggers oxytocin
- The magic of the one-sentence email (that triggers a “no”)
MENTIONED EPISODES:
The Art of Negotiating with Your Kids with Chris Voss
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