Jayson Gaddis is an executive coach, author, podcaster, speaker, a global leader on interpersonal conflict and connection, and is the founder & CEO of The Relationship School. Today, he joins Larry to talk about his new book “Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High Stakes Relationships”, and discusses the importance of conflict resolution in relationships.
Conflict resolution is vital for successful long-term relationships. Whether it’s a family, a business partnership, or a team, we have to learn how to work through conflict in order to maintain a healthy relationship.
When Jayson Gaddis talks about “getting to zero,” he means that it’s our baseline for feeling good and connected. When there’s no conflict or unresolved issues, we’re at zero. But when conflict arises, our number goes up to one through ten, with ten being the worst. We can be triggered and activated, enraged, or totally shut down.
Although Jayson doesn’t like conflict, he has a passion for conflict resolution. He’s motivated by the bad feeling he gets when he’s at odds with someone. He wants to figure out a way to help the average person because conflict resolution isn’t something we’re taught in school or college. It’s a vital life skill that everyone should learn.
It’s important to remember that conflict isn’t always a bad thing. It can be a way to deepen our connection with someone. When we work through a conflict and get to the other side, we have a better understanding of each other and a stronger relationship.
- Conflict resolution is vital.
- Repressed emotions lead to conflict.
- Accept others as they are.
What You’ll Learn
00:08:58 Learn to be emotionally available.
00:12:38 Take responsibility for your part.
00:19:05 Expectations, not resentments.
00:26:10 Own your feelings.
00:30:38 Empathy in relationships matters.
00:40:35 Trust yourself and your feelings.
00:44:45 Empathize without fixing.
00:46:14 Listen and validate first.
00:54:38 Allow kids to make mistakes.
00:56:18 Resolve conflict through questions.
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