Advice at 50 I Wish I Knew When I Was Just Getting Married

Have you ever asked yourself:

  • Do I find myself focusing more on what I don’t want in my marriage, rather than sharing what I truly need or hope for?
  • Am I recognizing and attempting to meet my wife’s deep needs to feel seen, heard, and safe?
  • Am I honestly communicating my needs and working with my spouse to understand hers?

One of the most powerful shifts came from understanding that men and women have fundamentally different needs in marriage. Men crave respect, appreciation, and affection. Women need to be seen, heard, and feel safe. If these needs aren’t met, resentment can brew silently for years, eroding the relationship from within.

Turning 50 is a milestone—it marks not only the passage of time but also a treasure trove of life lessons. On this episode of The Dad Edge Podcast, host Larry Hagner shares the advice he wishes he’d had in his early days of marriage and fatherhood.

Larry opens up about his fears before marrying his college sweetheart—a perspective shaped by his own experiences growing up around divorce and dysfunctional relationships. For years, he worried marriage would end in resentment, disconnection, or eventual separation.

But with 20 years under his belt, Larry has discovered that extraordinary marriages don’t happen by accident; they’re the result of effort, self-awareness, and learning new relationship skills.

If you’ve ever struggled with self-doubt, felt lost in marriage or fatherhood, or wished for a community of men who just get it, this episode is for you.

Stay tuned as Larry kicks off a four-part July series reflecting on marriage, parenting, wealth, health, and perspective—all with the goal of helping you live legendary.

Become the best husband you can: https://bit.ly/deamarriageyoutube

In this vital conversation, we dig into:

  1. Your Marriage Doesn’t Have to “Go Dry”: Most of us didn’t grow up seeing functional relationships. Larry candidly discusses how he almost let the fear of divorce and dysfunction keep him from marrying the woman he truly loved—and why that perspective was dead wrong.
  2. The Power of Active Love (from Your Kids’ Perspective): This week’s episode features a spontaneous cameo from Larry’s 11-year-old son, Lawson! He shares—with humor and honesty—how seeing his parents in a loving relationship makes him feel happy and safe at home. It’s a heartfelt reminder: how you show up with your spouse is what your kids truly remember.
  3. No More Content Zombie Syndrome: We all absorb tons of self-development podcasts and books. But unless we commit to consistently practicing what we learn—and DO the work—the needle doesn’t move. Larry talks about the critical difference between knowing what to do and actually doing it.
  4. Find Your Corner Men: Whether you’re a nine-to-fiver or a business owner, Larry stresses the importance of having men in your corner—mentors ahead of you, peers beside you, and those you can teach. We rise together, and having the right tribe accelerates every area of our lives.

Whether you’re married, a new dad, or a seasoned father, this episode is packed with relatable stories and actionable advice that could save your marriage and strengthen your home.

Here’s what research and observation highlight about marriages:

  • Only 12% of people who still are married can actually identify their relationship as working and they’re happy.
  • Statistics have shown that when a woman says out loud, “I think we should separate,” or “I think we should get divorced,” she’s been thinking that for a minimum of two years.

Larry’s Takeaways

  1. Understand Each Other’s Core Needs
  2. There’s a Gap Between Knowledge and Implementation
  3. Surround Yourself with the Right People

What You’ll Learn

  • 00:00 – The Dad Edge mission and legacy for future generations
  • 00:44 – “What would you tell your younger self?” and early marriage fears
  • 02:19 – Becoming a dad, learning the hard way, and why intention matters
  • 04:47 – Four-part July series preview; themes of marriage, parenting, health/wealth, and perspective
  • 07:26 – Larry’s personal story: long engagement, marriage fears, and dysfunctional childhood relationship models
  • 09:18 – Changing perspectives: why extraordinary marriages are possible
  • 14:02 – Surprise appearance: Larry’s son Lawson talks about love in the home
  • 17:49 – Kids notice the difference: the importance of visible love for children’s sense of safety
  • 19:14 – What men “do wrong”: unfulfilled needs, resentment, and the roots of marital tension
  • 21:29 – Understanding and fulfilling your partner’s (and your own) true needs
  • 23:27 – The slow drift into disconnection—and how to stop it
  • 25:43 – Arguing over what you don’t want vs. asking for what you do want
  • 27:02 – The “implementation gap”: the difference between knowing and doing
  • 29:41 – The power of male tribes: mentors, peers, and teaching others
  • 32:11 – Masterminds, alliances, and the boardroom: how men get (and give) help
  • 35:15 – Free resources, encouragement, and living legendary

Links

www.thedadedge.com/25questions

www.thedadedge.com/21days

www.thedadedge.com/mastermind


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